How Much Prosecco Was in There, Exactly?

I don’t usually day-drink, but one of my friends invited me to brunch and I had a mimosa. And then we started talking about wrestling. I started yelling so much that a couple at the other end of the bar interrupted us and said “I’m sorry, did you just say ‘Roman Reigns’?” We promptly got into a discussion about whether or not they should bother watching this past Monday’s episode of RAW. They left not long afterwards, so it’s possible I frightened them.

During this passionate tirade, my friend started talking about the women of WWE. We started talking about whether or not Sasha Banks should be getting more of a push right now (she should not) or if Charlotte should lose her title at Survivor Series (does it really matter?) and that now-infamous PTO on the announce table after Paige’s match with Becky Lynch.

This is when I was struck by pure genius.

(Fantasy bookings are just that – fantasy. I don’t necessarily subscribed to any of the statements I post below, they’re just things I think would make this story play out better.)

Currently, the Diva’s Championship picture looks like this: Charlotte beat Nikki Bella for the belt, and is now in a feud with former PCB team-mate Paige who keeps bringing up the fact that Charlotte is Daddy Flair’s little girl, which pisses Charlotte off because she earned her place in WWE. This is, of course, complete and total nonsense. Charlotte spent all of her title run as NXT Women’s Champion announcing to anyone who would listen that she was Ric Flair’s daughter. Whether it be in her entrance music, her merchandise, her finisher, or every time she insists on making that ridiculous “woo!” noise. If Charlotte had the common sense of a field mouse, maybe she would turn the tables on Paige, who also comes from a wrestling family, though hers were never as famous.

Bingo.

Both Charlotte and Paige are legacies in their own rite. Charlotte may be the daughter of a 16-time champion, but Paige would likely not be in the position she is now if she hadn’t been born into a wrestling family back in the UK, so who is she to talk? Legacy vs. legacy. Saraya Knight’s Daughter vs. Ric Flair’s daughter for the WWE Diva’s Championship at Survivor Series. But the match ends in a DQ when the final member of team PCB has had enough – Becky Lynch. Becky had to earn her place in WWE, she was no one’s legacy, and she wasn’t a wrestling thoroughbred like some people.

Beautiful, strong, talented Becky Lynch has had enough of living in the shadow of all these prissy Divas who are too busy arguing over who’s blood line is purer to train as hard as she has. But she finds she’s made more enemies than friends, because Charlotte and Paige aren’t the only Divas who were born to wrestle – so were Tamina and Natalya. And they don’t appreciate some Irish nobody insinuating that they haven’t earned their place in WWE.

There’s nowhere for Becky Lynch to turn. She’s certainly not finding solace in the arms of Tamina’s teammate Naomi or the Bella Twins – all of whom are a bunch of roster-fucking wannabes, anyway. None of them came into this business with any true talent, so they decided to sleep with or marry high-profile stars or members of prominent wrestling families. Even The Boss herself, Sasha Banks, thinks Becky Lynch has isolated herself. When Banks tries to remind Lynch to keep her nose down and not mess with women who have been in the business twice as long as she has (in a way that only Sasha Banks can, without seeming like she’s actually concerned) Lynch reminds her that it was Banks who asked Becky Lynch who she could depend on if not herself? Doesn’t she understand what it’s like to be surrounded by silver spoon-sucking primadonnas? Weren’t they great together once? And couldn’t they be great together again? And so begins another powerful alliance.

Putting Becky and Sasha together while Becky chases the Diva’s Championship (a prize she so rightfully deserves) is a great way to set up the next title feud (which would clearly be between them) and a series of amazing matches, culminating at Wrestlemania in a women’s match the likes of which we haven’t seen in years. Or maybe ever. But first Becky Lynch has to find herself as a character and get herself aligned with someone who isn’t just dead weight like Charlotte.

Go get ’em, Becky! Bartender, another mimosa, please.

The Lady J Says

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